Baby Making Machine

   

Our 5 year old granddaughter can't get the idea of a baby sister out of her mind. She talked to her mommy about having one for her but that didn’t work out. Then she decided to grow a baby sister herself. The problem with that was she had to marry Nick first and she hadn’t told Nick about it yet. So that didn’t work out either.

Yesterday she proudly announced that she had an invention for making babies. She said, “Hey Grandma, I could even make a baby for you!” I told her that sounded wonderful but only if I got a baby girl. No problem. Her machine only made baby girls. Then she asked me what color I would like my baby to be. An opportune teaching moment if ever there was one.  I told her it didn’t matter what color my baby girl would be.

“I can make you a pink one or a purple one. Which would you like best?” 🤣 I chose purple, of course.

I was still giggling when her dad came to pick her up. I told him our little darling had a new invention for making babies. He grinned and nodded his head. He told me that he and she had worked together in the garage to make her invention a reality. They got a cardboard box, some wire, some twine, a couple of pieces of wood, duct tape and a battery. And somehow they put it together and now they have a baby making machine in the garage! Is he the best dad in the world or what?

But as for my own purple bundle of joy, I'm not holding my breath.

 

 

 

The Great Shoe Conundrum

 

    All my life, there has been a special place in my heart for shoes. I think this is true of many people, some more than others.   
       Perhaps it is because of my obsession with shoes that I have noticed a phenomenon over the course of my lifetime. It is something I wonder about, fantasize about and worry about. And strangely, although it is a common occurrence and surely everyone has noticed, not one person has ever mentioned it to me in any conversation unless I bring it up, nor are they concerned or curious about it. I am talking about the single shoes lying along the roads of America.
    Have you ever wondered about those shoes? Always just one shoe, never a pair tied together by shoelaces, never one here and it's mate a few yards away. Just one lonely shoe. These shoes are of every variety and size: a baby shoe, a flip-flop, a tired old boot, a stylish new boot, a Mary Jane,  etc.
    Most people assume the shoes have fallen out of vehicles. Really? On 70 mph interstates? On hair-pin curves along mountain roads, Midwest blacktops, backwoods dirt roads in the Appalachians, and streets of downtown Seattle? I have seen one poor shoe on forest service roads, in state parks and even an entrance to McDonald's.  One can imagine a bored toddler hurling things out the backseat window (maybe) but what is mother's flip flop doing back there anyway?
    I have been noticing these poor shoes my entire life. Often I have wished that I could have pulled over to rescue them and take them home with me. What a collection I would have by now! Hundreds of mateless shoes shelved along the walls of my garage.
    What is the story behind these abandoned shoes? I have a theory. 
    It is entirely possible these shoes don't lie on the highways and roadways for long. I believe they are not abandoned or lost at all, but in fact the person who wore each of those shoes is still wearing the other shoe and will soon return for it.
    Imagine this scenario: Most of us are not so naïve in this day and age to believe we are the only intelligent life in the universe and, perhaps, time is not always measured as we measure it. What if the baby, toddler, the man or woman who has lost that shoe has been abducted by aliens? (Stay with me here - I might be on to something.) Perhaps where we see a shoe lying on the shoulder of the road is the place from which the individual was taken. That shoe marks the spot for the aliens to return them. Those people don't talk all over town about this experience because...because they can't remember it. and their fellow travelers who were missing somebody from their vehicle don't talk all over town about it either, because...because time stood still for them between the time the aliens took their loved one and left a shoe on the road and the moment the shoe and the victim are reunited.
    I think this is the perfectly logical explanation to this whole Shoe-on-the-Road  bewilderment. As far as what happens to the earthlings in the spaceship during that flick of time, I have no way of knowing. But if this is the proper conclusion to the mystery, I should be quite glad that I have not collected all those shoes I've witnessed lying along the road. Otherwise the aliens would not have known where to return their human specimens and instead of abandoned shoes along the highways, we could have hundreds of lost people wandering along the shoulders,  one shoe on and one shoe off. Oh dear. And of course, people would be talking about that all over town.